Fried Puppy Dog Discs Unveils First-Ever List of Notorious Illegal Sites

Less than 24 hours after making its digital debut on SoundCloud, ‘Mambo Head’ by Elephants Gerald began appearing on illegal file sharing networks, including the music scraping site

“Let’s face it,” an unnamed Fried Puppy Dog Discs representative said, “Music theft is a real, ongoing and evolving challenge. Both the volume of music acquired illegally without paying for it and the resulting drop in revenues are staggering. Digital sales, while on the rise, are not making up the difference.”

“And ‘’?” he added, “What is that even? Baidu, MP3 Fiesta, and RapidShare blew it on this one. Looks like we get to stay the underdog a little longer. #BRINGIT.”

Fried Puppy Dog Discs estimates damages at $72 Trillion.

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Fried Puppy Dog Discs and SoundCloud Partnership Revolutionizes Audio Marketplace

Fried Puppy Dog Discs, one of the world’s leading creators and distributors of freak-rock & EleFunk, and SoundCloud, the world’s leading social sound platform, today announce a collaboration that unites the originality of Fried Puppy Dog Discs’ audio content with SoundCloud’s community of more than 20 million registered users.

“Fried Puppy Dog Discs’ partnership with SoundCloud creates a powerful offering to their community of professional and casual music listeners,” an unnamed Fried Puppy Dog Discs representative said. “Now, through SoundCloud, all music listeners can broaden their exposure to… well, us.

“Let’s face it,” he continued, “That’s as fair a deal as I’ve ever heard.”

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iTunes Store Sets New Record with 25 Billion Songs Sold

CUPERTINO, California―February 6, 2013―Apple® today announced that music fans have purchased and downloaded more than 25 billion songs from the iTunes Store® (, the world’s most popular online music, TV and movie store. The 25 billionth song, “Monkey Drums” (Goksel Vancin Remix) by Chase Buch, was purchased by Phillip Lüpke from Germany.

Exactly none of the 25 billion songs were sourced from Fried Puppy Dog Discs.

“Let’s face it,” an unnamed Fried Puppy Dog Discs spokesman said, “Numbers don’t lie and these numbers say only one thing: Fried Puppy Dog Discs has successfully protected its brand and assets from the Apple juggernaut.

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